Yes, it's back but this is the last couple of Top 5 Best/Worst that I do until I pick up my How To Beat series again (that's coming soon BTW). I just wanted to drop the usual disclaimer about this being an opinion piece and adding that I am only going to use on piece of artillery per army in both lists. No doubling up, otherwise Chaos Dwarves would get too much represntation.
#5: Trebuchet (Bretonnia)
Yes, yes, I am biased blah blah blah. But, you must admit for what you pay 90 points for is the 2nd best priced war machine in the game. A stone thrower that hits 5 with 10 under the hols for less than a 100 points? In the words of my ever eloquent buddy Will; "I'd suck all of Slaanesh's dicks for something like that for Beastmen!" Despite being one of the worst armies in terms of point costs, Bretonnia still holds a surprising record for one of the cheapest and most devastating war machines ever. Plus, they maybe in the Rare section, but for Bretonnia, that's not an issue since the only other thing in the Rare section is Grail Knights, and those guys aren't really all that good for the god-awful price tag they come with. Now yes, there are some serious problems with the Trebuchet that put it at the bottom of the top. Like most war machines this thing is really fucked as soon as it gets charged, and since these things are immobile than there's pretty much no way to avoid this. Yes, it is a stone thrower so it is a bit random as well. Not much else to say but it's cheap, it's powerful, and it has no downsides really in an army pretty much entirely made out of cavalry. Gotta love it.
#4: Organ Gun (Dwarves)
Yeah, big shocker that this thing made an appearance, isn't it?What may shock most people is the place I put it at. I have heard a lot of arguments that make good points for this thing being the best artillery piece in the game. I would agree with that, if not for the three war machines I placed above it. So, the biggest downside is that this thing is majorly expensive, especially when you start tacking Engineering Runes on these bad boys. Now, being that they come from the Rare section this would normally be a double problem. However, this thing is easily the best choice in the Dwarf Rare section, so like the Trebuchet it's placement and price isn't all that bad. Another thing one can do is put a Master Engineer with it and give it BS 4 for it's shots is certainly worth the price if you want to maximize the effectiveness of the Organ Gun. As a side note it's also Stubborn and crewed by Dwarves so it may not fold like deck of cards the first time it gets into close combat. This thing is unlike most cannons in the sense that it's primary targets are not monsters or characters on mounts. Instead, the Organ Gun works best when shooting at infantry, cavalry, monstrous infantry, and most especially monstrous cavalry. I have seen Organ Guns absolutely obliterate bricks of Demigryph Knights, Mournfangs, and Skullcrushers like it was going out of style. It's not the most utilitarian cannon in the game, but it can be effective against most targets that normal cannons are not and thus can cover the usual weakness of artillery very well. For these reasons do I put the Dwarf Organ Gun at #4.
#3: Ironbalster (Ogre Kingdoms)
Oh yes, this thing is absolutely terrifying. Even a year and half past the era of Ogres absolutely running the tables in terms of competition in the meta the Ironblaster is still the cause of many Lizardmen, Vampire Counts, and Warriors of Chaos players huddling in corner and repeating over and over again; "No more cannonballs!!! No more cannonballs!!!" Much like the Organ Gun, much of the Ironblaster's power comes from it's utility as a cannon. It can be used for the usual purpose of knocking out monsters and mounted characters, and all sorts of other scary things on the board. But it can also be used to effectively scythe down enemy rank-and-file troops. Now, considering that Ogres can be weakened if they are forced into an attrition style fight, this is a great solution! Two rounds of shooting from an Ironblaster can put a hurting on a whole horde of even the most elite infantry out there. On top of that, it's also a chariot. With an Ogre on top. Driven by a gigantic rhino-like thing. Yeah, this is certainly an artillery piece that's not going to fold over when charged by bullshit chaff like Harpies. It's also not all that expensive for what it does, and it's competition in the Rare section is again not quite all that viable when compare to the power of the Ironblaster. Now yes, it does have a nasty misfire chart, but it's not nearly as bad as the Hellcannon, and it rolls the artillery dice twice to determine bounce distance and chose whichever one you want, meaning the range on this bastard is absolutely insane. Now, for all my praises you might be wandering what can possibly be a better piece of artillery than the Ironblaster? Well...
#2: Warp Lightning Cannon (Skaven)
What if the Bretonnian Trebuchet was a cannon? What it fired a shot that could go right through terrain? What if it's ammunition was lightning, and it ignored armor saves completely? What if it had an average strength of 4-6? What is after it went through it's enemies it then landed in a large pie plate with the potential to wipe out entire hordes? Then you'd get the nightmare that all armies have when they see the Children of the Great Horned Rat across from them. Daemon Princes, mounted characters, and mass infantry alike have little hope against this thing. If you want to castle up on the board, you will soon learn the true terror of he Warp Lightning Cannon. What's even worse is that when combined with Slaves, it means no one is safe ever. Not even in combat. The only disadvantages to this thing is that is that it is in the Rare section and competing with other very powerful options in the Skaven book (cough Hell Pit Abomination cough) and it has a very nasty misfire chart. However, this is literally a 90 point cannon that can win the game in a single shot. In my mind, there's only one cannon that can beat it in terms of sheer terror and domination on the board. And that cannon is....
#1: Dreadquake Mortar (Chaos Dwarfs)
Sweet, crispy Jesus! This thing is absolutely nuts! Now, I'm not going to go into too much detail as to how this thing works because I think I explained it fairly well in my How To Beat: Chaos Dwarves post. Suffice it to say, I have yet to face Chaos Dwarfs in a tournament that did not have a Dreadquake Mortar in their army. It is Slow to Fire, but a Slave Ogre fixes all that and makes it pretty much immune to most chaff that can threaten artillery. It has a range of 72" which means you will never be out of range of this thing. And as if hitting at a high Strength value and possibly having Magical Attacks via the Hellbound upgrade, it also makes whatever unit it hit suffer from a Dangerous Terrain test if it wants to basically contribute to the game. Well, it's random, right? Guess what? That Scorer-Prophet playing with himself near all the artillery is also an Engineer, meaning you can fix this thing if it rolls too wildly on the scatter dice. It's target range is also incredibly ridiculous with the fact that it uses a large round template. Now, it is expensive and it is also coming out of the Rare section that contains quite a bit of really powerful units. However, none of them can quite combo with the Chaos Dwarfs as the Dreadquake. It can by itself delay an enemy force and allow another round of shooting. Considering that there is a lot of nasty shooting in the Legions of Azagorh, that's a terrifying thought!
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