#5: Skink Cohorts (Lizardmen)
Yeah, even as a loyal Lizardmen player I have to admit that Skink Cohorts (rank and file Skinks) are really laughable. Especially after GW released the 8th edition Lizardmen army codex. For some reason, they neutered a unit I didn't even think needed to be neutered! I mean sure, the Slann was ridiculously overpowered in 7th edition and toning him down certainly was an acceptable idea to everyone, but messing with the Skink stat line was just a completely bizarre move. In return for dropping the points for Kroxigor and Scaly Skin 6+, the new Skinks are sitting at a reduced Leadership of 5. A coin flips leadership is not that bad, but Leadership 5 is no bueno by my reckoning. The reason they did this was to entice people to start taking Skrox units (Skink and Kroxigor), and sadly for me it has worked. For this reason alone do I only put Skinks at #5. The Kroxigor in the Skink unit has more application then I had originally realized. Especially in battlefields with water formations. Rank and file Skinks by themselves are no longer a viable option, but being able to take Monsterous Infantry that hits at S7 in the same unit is the reason I rank them higher on the shit scale then the other things you will see in this list. That, and they do have poisoned range weapons on them, so you can make a pretty nasty stand-and-shoot if/when you get charged.
#4: Ungor (Beastmen)
I know shouldn't be picking on Beastmen, it's like making fun of the kid in the wheel chair when he's watching you and your buddies play football. It's mean, unethical, and extremely longed down upon. However, I would be lying if I said they didn't have a place here. The one good thing about Beastmen is that they do have relatively respectable stats, and they could be fixed very easily by adjusting their equipment. All except Ungor. Ungor are like the Skinks of the Beastmen. They're the lowest men on the totem pole and thus they function a lot like Goblins or Snotlings in a Greenskin army. More for being an obstacle then anything else. However, they're not as cheap as other shitty Core units, so they're an in perspective not cheap core unit that's just going to sit their, get charged, and then get killed. They also don't really have any impressive tricks they can pull. Even lower stat units like Skinks and Goblins at least have nasty little tricks that keep people hesitant to get into combat with them. Again, Ungor don't really even have that advantage. I suppose you could use the Beastmen Ambush rule with them, but that's a major gamble with a relatively hefty price. I would like to see these guys get a makeover in their new book (should it ever come) but for now, they get the ex-nay.
#3: Skeleton Warriors (Tomb Kings)
Yeah, this should be another one that should be fairly obvious. Tomb Kings are very, very weak in the current meta which is quite a shame since their book was one of the first that was done in 8th edition. There are two key reasons that I put them at this spot, and I know it may seem like it's weird that I'm putting a Beastmen unit above 3 other units, but I have my reasons. See, Skeleton Warriors are plagued by two very tragic things that make them very piss-poor choices, even in the context of the Tomb Kings. First off, they are Nehekaran Undead. This is a whole host of problems, but I'll outline the main points. They can't march, so they are slow as shit and unwieldy to say the least. They're also pathetic in combat, so when they finally do go into a unit they then proceed to get the living shit kicked out of them. They can indeed regrow fallen warriors, but they can't go beyond starting size and they loose more troops at a rate that they cannot sustain even with regenerating their fallen comrades. The second reason, is that there is a unit in the Core section that is many times more effective than these guys. That unit is called Skeleton Archers. You knows these guys, they. They have practically the same stats and kit-out as the Warriors, but there is one key difference. A horde of Skeleton Warriors will collapse within a few rounds of combat. A horde of Skeleton Archers will be a machine gun in the shooting phase and actually take out a respectable amount of points across the board from you. I legitimately feel bad for these poor shit heads, but what are you going to do, right?
#2: Pink Horrors (Daemons of Chaos)
When you hear that your Warriors of Chaos buddy is bringing his Tzeentch infantry list, you buy enough beer to get him to the point where he's starting to make questionable tactical decisions. When your Daemons of Chaos buddy brings his Tzeentch infantry list, you start drinking to give the poor bastard a leg up. It's such a shame too, because even in the realm of non-combat units, Tzeentch is still not that impressive in the Daemons book. His magical access is unimpressive compared to Nurgle and Slaanesh. He has some interesting chaff and chariot units, but if you're relying on chaff and chariots to win you the game then my friend, you may wish to rethink your life. It's even a bigger shame, because this unit kind of pioneered a new form of unit that has gotten very popular with the release of the Dark and Wood Elves books. It's the collective unit that acts as a single caster. Doomfire Warlocks are incredibly powerful units, they're able to deliver spells that are effective for their purpose and even have impressive enough stats and equipment that allow them to survive in situations that might get very dangerous. Sisters of the Thorn, a similar unit in the Wood Elves book has an almost identical stat and kit-out base line, but the spells they have are slightly less useful and thus they often get ranked behind the Brolocks. Pink Horrors are the predecessors to both these units and to be frank, they suck. They really, really suck. From what I understand, the unit acts as a level 1 caster on Tzeentch magic, which seems really cool because the lore attribute allows them to regenerate any lost casualties if their spells do any unsaved wounds. So it seems like an interesting unit. There's just two problems with this. First, the attribute relies on causing unsaved wounds, meaning that the only spells that really work on this attribute are Magic Missiles and Direct Damage spells. Neither of which can be used once the unit gets into close combat. This wouldn't be a problem, except that Pink Horrors are basically naked except for their Daemonic Ward Save. These guys die in bucket loads. I'll give Skeleton Warriors this much, they can at least try to lash out and kill a few guys. Pink Horrors are just butchered and their paltry resistance is almost sad. I'm serious, I've sent Ment-At-Arms, fucking Men-At-Arms, into a unit of Pink Horrors and they whupped this shit out of them! Thus, my Daemons buddy went from Tzeentch to all Slaanesh for a bit of an easier time of it. These guys suck and there's really no fixing them right now, but maybe in their next book they'll get redone a bit.
#1: Zombies (Vampire Count)
Before everyone explodes in the comments section, yes I realize that Zombies are supposed to suck and that's there point. However, they have a little bit of a problem. See, Zombies are Initiative 1, ASL, and WS 1. Meaning they totally and completely suck. They're just supposed to get in the way and tie up the enemy so that Black Knights and Blood Knights can flank whatever the Zombies are dealing with. See, even though you can grow the Zombies back beyond their starting size and they grow more plentifully then any other Undead unit, they suck so bad that they die off many times faster then they can grow back. So, if the Vampire Counts player doesn't position correctly then these guys are just going to die at such a great rate that it's just impossible to use these guys effectively even as a tar-pit unit. Especially when you have access to units like Skeletons and Ghouls in the Core section that are only mildly more expensive then Zombies are and do the job much, much better. As a result, I put the Zombies here, and again I realize that they are supposed to suck and that's why they are so cheap. However, they are very not good enough even in that capacity, so I put them here.
